I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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