Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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