I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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