How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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