is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
