Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
