Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
