Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
