If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
