I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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