Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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