The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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