our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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