Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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