Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
