Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
