This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
