new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
