omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
one might say we're banned from that church
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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