Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
whose parrot is this?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
