how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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