Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
