She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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