I am puke
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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