Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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