Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
