I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
