Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
