At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
false alarm. still invincible.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
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woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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