"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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