the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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