he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
