so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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