very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize