so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
