O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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