Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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