so that wasnt chicken after all
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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