He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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