I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
