i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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