Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize