can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
