Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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