Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize