And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just had sex bonerless
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
