Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am available for nakedness
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