he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
