just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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