You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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