after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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