I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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