Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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